pick five

i was talking to an old friend of mine last night, someone i had not
spoken to in a handful of years, chatting about things old friends
chat about. nothing too serious. nothing too heavy. the conversation
ranged from those dumb dr. pepper 10 commercials to the spiritual
implications of the last episode of lost. somewhere in the soup we
delved into one of those questions that go, "if you were stranded on a
desert island, and had advanced warning, what five (blank)s would you
bring?" i spend a lot of time alone. i write. i read. i watch t.v. if
not, CDs are in constant rotation. that is my island. i am often
stranded in my head. despite that, i still found this a difficult
question to answer.

one of my friend's top pick for the category of tv shows was the
simpsons. forest gump and when harry met sally for movies. for music,
she chose john lennon's imagine and beethoven's ninth symphony. books
was an easier question for me as i am interested in story. she chose
kurt vonnegut's stuff. i chose glen cook. for food i'd have to say KFC
is in my top five. i do love those 11 secret herbs and spices.

i could not narrow most categories down. i figure if the situation
ever arises, i'd grab whatever was closest. i'd grab them and make the
best of those split second decisions. and the things left behind, i
suppose i'd try not to think of them.

and it hit me why she had such an easy time choosing. she has no
memory. she forgets things almost as soon as they happen. she will
remember with some reminding things we did as kids, but she just never
thinks of it otherwise. she reminds me a lot of my ex wife in that
regard, which is maybe why amy was able to just walk away. perhaps
that is why she believes, as she told me recently, that i was no help
to her with the kids or the upkeep of the house when we were married.

i remember everything. i remember small facial expressions and the
exact sound of laughter. that's probably why i could not choose a top
five in most categories. i carry memories around with me like they are
people i love. i mourn them when the dream that created them dies.

ghost