orbit

i spin.

my wheels. the gears in my head. i am in constant orbit. always
working, thinking, considering, keeping tabs. like a satellite.

i have spent too much time, too many of my days in cities that never
wanted me. two years since she lied to me. this is two lies too many.
two is the number of the day, and i feel like the count on sesame
street. can you tell i spend all my free time with small children now?
i am no one's man anymore. i am no one's lover, bread winner, desire.
i am no one's confidante, no one's priest, preacher, or wiseman.

i am simply, daddy. i am defender, disciplinarian, authority. i am
cuddle buddy, meal maker, jungle gym.

and my children, steadily gaining steadier feet, new language
unfurling inside them like tree roots, they warm my heart. my babies
are stretching their arms, their legs, their voices, and i am, too. my
world is smaller now, but there are three of them, and it's all i
need.

ghost