recollection

i wonder what it's like to live with no dreams.

i have had many dreams, though in hindsight, most of them were maybe
foolish and probably naive. but still, not to have any dreams at all
is probably different than having stupid ones. i look back at my life
and i remember having no dreams, when i was lost, when the inside of
me was naked and lost in the outside world with no anchor in the sea
of days. i still sometimes get glimpses of that world. it seems a
world away now, one of several i've visited. i never want to go back.

even before that though, when i was a lonely lost angry boy, i
remember praying. i remember praying to whatever was out there for
help. i prayed, then as i have more recently, in desperation.

strange.

i've never really thought anyone would answer.

ghost