so, i'm still an artist. i can say that despite the evidence to the contrary. i have projects.
i have commissions i need to be cranking out. the problem is, at least
lately, is that all of my projects have been non commercial, non
saleable little nothings i just want to play with. mostly, i'll admit,
i've been ignoring the paintings because i've been singularly focused
on getting two novels ready to go. so, i've been really considering leaving the teaching profession and
taking a job in a cube. the up side of it is the pay, the ability to
get a raise and bonuses and benefits and do the things in my life that
i day dream about now, but can't even remotely afford. the downside, i imagine, will be the lack of time to create, which is
pretty much what i do all day every day now. i've been doing this so
long now, that my needs to create, to draw and paint and sculpt are
just simply met by going to work and tinkering. it's part of my job
description after all. and i love that. i really do. i've been barely making ends meet for too many years now, seen too
many of my dreams die, that i can't justify not reaching for a brass
ring when i see it. i see glimpses of future, and the realization that
i need to seriously start thinking about it has settled over me. my
question is, will the need to create drive me to do so in my down time
when i'm not at work, soccer games, baseball practices, whathaveyou,
or will it be something that i put on the back burner that will
eventually die from neglect? because that would be a crying shame. ghost
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