ever feel like you were maybe destined for something remarkable? i'm a grinder by nature, taking each day as it comes and navigating through their mine fields without much thought about tomorrow or those tomorrows that follow it. still, i have this feeling that i'm supposed to be more, to be something bigger.
i can't imagine what. i want to be a bonafide writer. i haven't found the door i need to unlock to make that happen yet, but i keep working, keep creating, keep searching. i am not opposed to kicking in a door either.
i've often said, i write for me, i tell the story i want to hear and if it never amounts to anything, then i'll still be satisfied with the work i've put into it. i'll admit, that's only a partial truth. i can tell you, i still tell the story i want to hear, but i want to tell it to everyone. i want the book deal. i want the whole thing.
the question is, is that the bigger thing i feel i'm destined for?
dreaming can be a dangerous thing. i wonder if part of what holds me back, from finding that door, is that i pull the reigns on my dreams lest my delusions of grandeur overtake me.
ghost
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