what's it all really mean?

anyone who knows me well will nod their agreement with great vigour
when someone mentions that i need to know the why of things. i'm like
a two year old in a middle aged man's body. don't just answer my
question, tell me why you arrived at that answer. i'm a firm believer
that there is a rhyme and reason behind everything, and really, i'm
more interested in that than i am the actual answer.

i was listening to a preacher once. he was talking about how we often
have the mind set that life should be fair. i don't remember much of
that sermon other than this one sentence. "what's unfair about life is
that it is fair."

i no more know what he was trying to say with statement now than i did
when he said it twelve years ago.

life is not fair, is it? comparatively speaking, say compared to a kid
born in some third world country who was abandoned by his parents and
had to struggle just to eat every day, i've had it pretty easy. i
mean, i'm sure that kid would look at my life and think, that's a cake
walk. compared to him, i'd say i've escaped my share of suffering.
but, that gets me to thinking, what is the meaning of life? the
hypercomputer earth from the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy deduced
the answer of the meaning of life, the universe, of everything, was
42.

what do you mean when you ask that question? what is life about for you?

i'd like to say life is the simplest thing there is. you wake, you
breathe, you eat. wash rinse repeat. but it's not, is it? not for us
humans, anyway. there's so many emotions, so many relationships, so
many needs beyond just food, water, and shelter. we need validation.
we need to be touched. we need to know someone gives a d*mn. we need
to know we are necessary.

i don't suppose there's any reason for this post. just me, thinking.
and painfully aware that a great many of my needs are in no way being
met.

ghost