"what people think of you is none of your business."-sister spikey mace often times people around me make observations about me that kinda
take me by surprise, be it other teachers, students, family, what have
you. i suppose it's because whatever it is they are saying, insult or
compliment is something i just don't see. it makes me question my
ideas of self. am i blind to certain things about myself? it's no
secret i'm introspective to a fault. just because there are things
about myself i won't admit publicly, i like to believe i at least
acknowledge they are there if even i work to make sure i'm the only
one who knows. what sort of world would this be if we could look through an other's
eyes, to hear with an other's ears? how dissimilar would our self view
look to that which we would see if we could see ourselves through
someone else? it's not a new question, but no one knows the answer.
sometimes i am frustrated by our finiteness. the conversation came up in class yesterday, so i, sensing an
opportunity, picked up the ball and ran with it. i told them no one
had an answer, but they each had a brain and could imagine. i said we
could all also work on how we are to one other. it is a small thing,
but perhaps a saving grace. some said they did not know if they could
look past their prejudices. i told them at the very least someone
could say they tried. i asked what does it say about them if you don't
even have that? you have a heart. you can care. one student asked me, why should i care? what's in it for me? i should
look out for number one, after all, he said. he knows a little about
my life. i am friends with his family. you try to treat people well
and they still hurt you, tip. where did being a good man get you?
nobody cares about me, he said. why should i care about them? i told
him i couldn't control how others acted, only how i chose to conduct
myself, how i reacted to others. it was a good discussion and i hope i
got through to someone. i think it would surprise us, maybe even shock us, if we were to see
ourselves through the eyes of those close to us. i think there are few
people out of the billions in the world who understand just how loved
they truly are, how much we mean to people. i know i probably would.
and if we were all to see us, just for a minute, out of the eyes of
those close to us, i think we wouldn't find a dry eye in the house.
ghost
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