am i?

what is normal?

i hear people describe things as normal, but i don't have the foggiest
notion what is considered the norm by which to compare things,
happenings, feelings, whatever. i know what i've been told, i
understand the archetype of normal, but i'm not seeing much evidence
of it around me.

and who decided whatever the definition of normal is was the standard
by which we should all compare everything else? i know the first
argument made is the life experience is unique to each of us, that
there is no normal, but i feel like it's like cliches or stereotypes.
there's truth to them and obviously enough people were living normal
lives that that template became widely accepted as the status quo.

but.

i don't know anyone, besides maybe the Golden Boy, who is living what
i'd consider the normal life i've always been told we should aspire
to. and while i'm as proud as i can be of and for him, i realize i
will never have this ideal normal.

then, i begin to wonder if i was meant for normal.

i don't need much excitement anymore. a jedi craves not these things,
but i am sometimes intensely lonely.

there's no reason for this. just thinking out loud, as it were.

ghost