dear pretty girl with the name i never knew,
the sky was static. grizzled. blue. stretching down to lines of the tree and power variety. we cuddled on someone's couch though we both knew it wouldn'tcouldn'tshouldn't last. i understand now why you denied me false idols and stuffed my head with real life. fairy tales taught me nothing.
but.
our hearts snared on phone lines and there isn't a point in a death wish because everyone ends up alone in the end. i know why you told me "i'll only hurt you too," because i am a boy with brown eyes that only see wolves in words. tears and fatigue only leave lost friends anyways. i supposed it was for the best, but i miss you already. it tasted like a scalpel or a brick wall against my throat, and i felt like i was chewing on concrete when i told you, "it's okay."
swallowing cinder blocks. stuffing steel into my skin.
i woke and wondered where had you gone.
broken thoughts.
unrepaired.
wide awake now. i abandon months to notebooks and find i am claustrophobic when it comes to my future.
regrets collected. i am just an afterthought. a feeling, like a wish on a dead star and the feeling of gritted teeth and my fingers crossed until they break settle on me.
you're someone else. i am too. but i want to be the boy you held in our dreaming.
ghost
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