i've taken a bit of time from the constant striving to create and string together coherent thoughts for you all. in the mean time, i've been reading through several notebooks i've filled up over the last three years. some of the things i wrote in them became posts here on ghostspace. the rest is a journey through a deep cavern i consider madness now that my head and heart are in a better place.
as i'm reading, the feeling that i have missed something settles over me. within these pages there is so much evidence of strange creations that burst forth from my despair. i suppose some of them still roam the corridors of my mind. perhaps most of them do, and i've only grown accustomed to their snarling presence. it also feels like time stood still, all that while. and now that i've woken from the pit, i find the world has mysteriously aged. i find i've grown older. i don't know why this surprises me. time passes slowly in the pit.
good things did happen there, though, deep in that hole. perhaps i matured these last years. i looked deeper into myself than i ever cared to, discovered things i never wanted to know. tonight i am burning these notebooks in the grill on the back porch.
as i do, i wonder now if i would have done anything about these last three years differently.
ghost
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