quandry

Tiny Tank and Dimples are both old enough to know that i was married
to their mothers at some point, and they often ask me why we're not
married anymore. my standard answer to this question is, "we decided
we didn't need to be together anymore," or, "your mom decided she
didn't want to be married to me anymore." they are not old enough to
hear the truth, and really, i don't want to say anything to them
against either woman. whatever tore us apart doesn't have anything to
do with their relationship with their moms.

Dimples doesn't buy my standard reply anymore though, and Tank is
starting to ask secondary questions, like why amy decided she didn't
want to be married to me anymore. i told Dimples a while back that
when she was older, old enough to understand, we could talk about it.
she said okay, but i know she still wonders about it. i do not look
forward to that talk, despite the fact that her mom has done her best
to turn my daughter against me from the word go. well, to be fair,
probably not so much in the last three years, but before that, yeah.
Tank isn't buying it either, it seems. he keeps asking questions, and
i don't know how to answer them without lying to him.

at some point, ill have to have frank talks with all of my kids about
why things are the way they are. my question is, what do i say? the
truth? in Dimples' case it will be easier. i can recognize my own
fault in it. i gave up on the relationship when it was at its worst.
whatever i blame her for, i'm partly to blame too. with Tank and
Pixie, though, how do i explain it without them possibly feeling some
anger toward their mom? is it something i should never answer? a story
i should just take to my grave?

thankfully, i still have time to figure it out.

ghost