13477

that's the number of days i've walked this great blue ball of wonder.

and what am i wondering about on this less than notable day in my long
chain of days? i've been considering whether or not you'd want to live
in a dream after i woke from a particularly difficult one this
morning. in dreams we are not governed by the civilization that has
structured the way we act in the waking world. we act and say things
uninhibited by conscience. we easily forgive killing someone in
dreams. the stuff of dreams, too, it seems insubstantial fluff
compared to the granite we walk on when we're upright with eyes open.

i think to be eternally in fantasy would not be heaven, but a sort of hell.

i wouldn't have thought that when i was young, when i had the dream
where i flew and could stay in the sky. someone told me that meant i
was seeking escape. perhaps i was, though i can't remember what i
might have been trying to escape. i asked this of some of my friends
and they said they often dream of flying. i find it odd, and telling,
if the escape theory be true, that i haven't dreamed of flying in a
very long time.

no, give me the real world. give me the occasional slap n the face if
need be. i think i'd prefer that to a thousand years of nothing but
feathers.

ghost