me two

i was having a conversation with a buddy the other day, and as
conversations between guys sometimes do, the topic turned to women,
what we like, what we don't like in those we would like to become
romantically involved with. for the record, i do not currently have a
person with whom i'd like to become romantically involved, but that
doesn't stop me considering what i would like, should i ever meet
someone. one theme common to both of our lists of favorable
characteristics was honesty. we've both had our hearts ripped out,
stomped on, then lit on fire, so you can imagine it's pretty close to
the top of the list.

as i've been known to, i was thinking about the conversation long
after it ended and i started wondering about how honest people really
are. how many of us live two lives? one is the public mask, the
outward display we show the world. our best face, so to speak. then
there's the you that only you know about, all the secret thoughts,
ideas, things you will do your utmost to protect from prying eyes.
that's someone else. i lie to myself and think that the me that you
see is the me that you get, but i'm sure there are any number of
thoughts and the like i don't want anyone to ever know. i'm a gemini,
after all. two sided by nature.

my question is, does anyone out there live just the one life? is there
anyone out there with nothing to hide?

i suppose, despite my need for complete honesty in my next
relationship, some secrets shouldn't be shared. i don't know what this
world would be like if all people everywhere decided they'd share the
dark things about themselves with everyone they met. it might help me
tell when someone is lying when they tell me they love me, but i
imagine it would be a world where no one could look another person in
the eye, ever again.

ghost