forgotten

how much will be forgotten? in the grand scheme of the Great Wheel
arcing through the days of creation, i ask not what will be
remembered, but what will be lost to Oblivion's eye? in our world, we
sit at the dinner table and a crumb falls here, a scrap is tossed away
there. these are small things we do not even consider. i have imagined
the account books of the universe where all of those crumbs and scraps
are summed up, and the total is huge when gathered into one number.
and yet, we will never notice the total of this whole unthinkable
number. there are innumerable little things, i think, that will be as
if they never were.

still, another voice in my head says that nothing is wasted. how do i
reconcile these two conflicting feelings? is it a matter of causation?
everything, even the little things we lose, are linked in some way.
the scraps of actions we give no thought to, they cause another event,
build on another thing, negate a little of a third. they all lead to
something that perhaps we will remember. in that is our understanding.
we cannot see the grand accounts as i feel they should be seen. we do
not notice the infinite interconnections adding and subtracting from
one another.

in the end, i wonder if God will see the sum, nod, and think of it no more.

ghost