and the oscar goes to...

you know it's going to be one of those long days when someone says,
"good morning," and the first words that want to jump off your tongue
are, "shut the h*ll up."

i pulled on those reigns before that particular horse leaped the gate
because she was smiling, was genuinely wishing me a good morning, and
she doesn't know me. plus, she's fourteen, and probably can't
understand the angst in me that makes me grit my teeth and play the
role social and civilized conventions dictate.

and it's not that i'm in a poor mood either. on the contrary, i'm
feeling good today. i'm painting, i'm taking my kids to dinner
tonight, so you know, everything is ok in my world. there are just
days, like today, where i don't feel like sticking to the script, when
i don't care at playing civilized, when i don't want to perform my
half of the conversation rituals. i just wanna growl and snarl and
laugh and create and stay in my own head.

but, i'm a professional, so i play my part. i'm like clint effing eastwood.

ghost