taking jokes too far

my friend, she's playing therapist. tells me no wonder i don't have
any friends after i make some off color remark.

"friends, what would i need those for?" i joke. "friends to bail when
i need them most? to tell me when i'm doing it wrong, to find the
cracks in my greatness? i do that to myself, why would i need someone
else around for that?"

"that's a bit snobby. and i never took you for a snob," she says.

fast forward twenty minutes and she hits something soft, something
unarmored, something undefended. a nerve perhaps.

"everyone leaves. they say, you won't be alone forever. or you deserve
so much better. or just give it time. who are they kidding? everyone leaves, and i am left to be lowest common denominator again."

the conversation expires, and we drift away from one another again.

ghost