beet red

so the other day i sold three paintings to a very good friend of mine,
which, had it been anyone else, would have been a rather innocuous
occurance. this friend is matherly,though, and i believe shakespeare
must have had a friend like him, someone who inspired the character
puck. mischevious just doesn't quite cover it.

now, before we go on, i will take time to remind you all of the
incident at the bank wherein my three year old son commented on the
size of a taxidermied polar bear's "peeper" and compared it to mine
within earshot of pretty much everyone in the bank.

this is the bank into which i went to cash the check for the
paintings. as the teller is going about her work, i am waiting, not
even considering that embarrassing event i mentioned earlier, when she
stops and pulls her glasses from her face, looks at me, back to the
check, and then to me again.

"does this say what i think it says?"

i look. and on the description line at the bottom of the check,
matherly, my friend, has written, for beer and hookers. i feel my face
redden slightly, and the teller and i have a laugh. then she leans
over and shows the description to her neighbor teller, who also laughs
and then looks at me.

"wait," she says. "i know you. didn't your son make a rather
intriguing observation about you and that polar bear not too long
ago?"

that is the second time in as many years i have left that bank the
color of an apple. between my son and my friend, i don't think i can
frequent the lobby of that establishment anymore. my face has turned
red just recalling it.

ghost